Sewing Sunsets

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have time to sew again.  The past six months or so have been extemely difficult and stressful.  It all seemed to begin this past December when my mom fainted as she was walking to the car.  We were going to a routine doctor’s visit and all seemed well, but before she reached the car, she fainted.  We discovered that she had a bladder infection and she was put on an antibiotic.  I personally believe that particular antibiotic caused more problems than it solved, and I believe it is continuing to do so today–many months later.

Shortly after that, we moved our daughter to California, driving cross country and back, and when I returned home, I was ill for a month.  Then my husband got the new job in another state and we thought we had some time before we needed to move, but we soon got word that we needed to be in our new state “yesterday”. 

After we all got here in our current location, I once again thought all was going well….until my mom had another fainting episode.  Once again, it was determined that she had a bladder infection and she was placed on another (different) antibiotic.)   She was also weaned off of many of her prescription medications, which was a very good thing.  And I finally got her to a doctor who accurately diagnosed her thyroid condition.  She has Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, which is basically low thyroid function, but more complicated that basic hypothyroidism.  My mom was placed on some different medications, along with nutritional supplements.  It has been a long, hard road and we’re still not at the end of this difficult journey.  It seems that every time progress is made, there are more setbacks.  Almost three weeks ago, my mom fell and bruised her rib.  This past weekend, she was in terrible pain, but it seemed to be from a gastrointestinal upset that was confusing both of us, rather than the bruised rib.  However, this tummy upset irritated the bruised rib, and some pain and soreness has continued. 

After spending that one horrid day in ER at a local hospital, I hired 24/7 care for my mom for a short while, but due to financial concerns, I had to stop that care–temporarily, I hope.  I am currently staying with my mom for a while, but I am so exhausted some days that I can barely walk myself.  I am an only child so all responsibility falls to me.  My husband has great difficulty understanding the type of care that my mom needs at this point and is much too quick to say that it’s time to put her in a nursing home.  Frankly, my mom does not need nursing home care–possibly assisted living, but not nursing home care–at least not permanently at this point.  She is receiving skilled nursing here in the home, and also occupational and physical therapy.  Also, she is now on a gluten free diet and fluoride free water and toothpaste–all due to her autoimmune thyroid disorder. 

I will fight for my mom’s health and well being, but during all this, I have basically given up my own life to take care of her, and it’s not easy.  She understands this better than my husband does.  

We’ve only been in our new location for three months and they have been long, hard, difficult, stressful months.  I dream of going into my sewing room on a cool, rainy day and just sewing to my heart’s content.  In those sewing dreams, the days would not be filled with setting up therapist appointments, talking to nurses, doctors, or pharmacists, or trying to set up care for my mom so that I could have a break; instead, those sewing days would be filled with sewing peace and contentment, with everyone in my life being happy and healthy and able to care for themselves.  On those days, in my sewing dreams, I would be able to sew without fear of being interrupted by a phone call with yet another medical emergency, or without having to rush to my mom’s to make sure she was ok.  In my dreams, my mom would be able bodied, free of any type of disease, able to manage her own medications, and be out having a grand old time in life…while I would be at home sewing to my heart’s content.

Maybe one day my sewing dreams will come true and my mom’s health will be restored and I can actually go into the sewing room to find some sewing peace and contentment.

Happy Sewing to you all.

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